I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
