cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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