hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
