He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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