No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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