therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
