Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
