i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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