So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
