I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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