Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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