Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
