I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
