Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize