The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
