I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Terrible idea I love it
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
