Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
