With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
How naked do you want me to be?
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