every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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