Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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