road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
There are leaves in my underwear?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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