she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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