dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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