The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
