we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
