I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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