the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
