Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
