why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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