What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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