somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize