If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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