Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
