Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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