Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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