U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
All I want is dick and wine.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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