She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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