last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
