Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
