i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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