i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
