yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
