i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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