Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you didnt know i had herpes?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
