what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
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All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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