I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
