i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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