I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
