Can i not drive my cunt home
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize