No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
