I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
