I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
