I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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