dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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