what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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