Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
