As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize