Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
