that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
