I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
